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Amazing Apple Product Doesn't Actually Exist

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Despite being picked up by dozens of news outlets, Apple's biometric EarPods were borne from a hoaxster's mind and won't actually be released.

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Last week, the future seemed to finally be here, if only for a moment.

Google (NASDAQ:GOOG) was making progress on self-driving cars; advancements in mobile payments and wearables continued to promise a technological revolution; and Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) was set to release a product that would kick biometrics into high gear.

The product: biometric EarPods that monitored a user's blood pressure and heart rate. The accessory would also feature iBeacon so it would never get lost and also work via the Lightning port connection. The rumored product was "leaked" on the anonymous sharing app Secret and substantiated by patents for integrated sensors filed in 2007 and 2008.

Unfortunately, it was all a hoax.

In a lengthy post on Tumblr, the Secret scammer confessed to posing as an Apple employee and making the whole product up.

"I made it up," the post begins. "I wrote it 5 minutes after I woke up on the 1st of may. I was blurry eyed, I had a headache, I was using the toilet and worrying about my blood pressure."

It was then that the fake EarPods began to take form.

"The idea of Apple including a free heart pressure monitor, something that would cost >$100-$200, seemed ridiculous to me," the hoaxster writes. "I added the iBeacon thing to stretch it further and the audio jack port moving idea as some contrived logic to make it sound believable." The whole concept also seemed more plausible by Apple's previous patents and with WWDC just around the corner.

And just to put the kibosh on conspiracy theories that the scammer is, in fact, an Apple employee and was ordered to "keep quiet," the post concluded, "I have never worked for Apple, I have had no contact with Apple. I doubt they really care anyway, but I'm still sorry for any stress I caused anybody at Apple or who works with Apple."

The revelation surely comes as a disappointment for users hoping for a handy accessory to simultaneously monitor vitals at the gym and play dance mixes. And while Apple still may release such a combo in the future, that future, sadly, isn't now.

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