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"Worst Investor in America" On Cusp of Yet Another Epic Fail

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ANNALS OF BROADWAY FLOPPAGE
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Bono, who earned the dubious distinction of being named the "Worst Investor in America" by 24/7 Wall Street this past March, after sinking a fortune into Elevation Partners -- which itself earned the equally dubious distinction of being described as "arguably the worst run institutional fund of any size in the United States," is now on the losing side of another flop.

"Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," the $65 million musical with a score by Bono and his partner in U2, the Edge, "doesn’t just have to be a hit," according to the Hollywood Reporter, "it has to be a megahit."

THR reports:

"By all accounts, the show, which will play in the 1,900-seat Foxwoods Theatre, operated by Live Nation, will need to bring in about $1 million a week to break even. But to make its unprecedented investment back, it will need to run at capacity for two to three years, at the very least. Only a few current shows — Wicked, Jersey Boys and The Lion King — perform at that level consistently. And with a reportedly generous royalty deal to Marvel Comics (neither Marvel nor parent Disney has any money in the show) it might be a longer time before the investors see any profit. The money has been put up by a consortium of independent investors, including theater veterans like James Nederlander and Terry Allan Kramer, as well as lead producer Michael Cohl, a rock promoter."

Nonetheless, Bono told "60 Minutes" that "Spider-Man" "has been one of the funnest, more joyful rides of our artistic life, for sure." Which is nice for Bono, but less-so for the cast-members who are dropping like flies due to the dangerous stunts involved when trying to recreate action sequences normally achievable only through the use of CGI.

As the New York Post's theater critic Michael Riedel wrote over the weekend,
"Yet another actor has been injured -- the third in about a month and a half -- and the show's opening night isn't even until Jan. 11."

Actress Natalie Mendoza was hit on the head by a rope and suffered a concussion. This comes on the heels of two earlier incidents in which one actor broke both wrists during a performance for group sales agents, and another performer broke his foot.

Riedel has been keeping those not loose enough with their hard-earned money on what seems to be shaping up to be Broadway's biggest disaster, apprised of the show's myriad mishaps.

"High-tech gadgetry [gone] completely awry," a "dull score" and a "baffling script" are only the beginning.

"At various points, overhead stage wires dropped on the audience, scenery appeared on stage missing pieces -- and the show's star was even left swaying helplessly over them midair during what was supposed to be the climatic end to the first act," he
 
wrote
.

"...an apparent wire malfunction left her stopped in midair -- where she remained for an embarrassing seven or eight minutes as stagehands worked feverishly to figure out the problem."

If you're planning on seeing Bono & Friends' latest misadventure, save your money--Conan O'Brien was kind enough to televise all you need to feel just like you've suffered through this abomination without paying $285 for a ticket:





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