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Wooden Toilet Seats

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THE CONTRARIAN INVESTOR
DailyFeed
It's tempting to believe we just sit around the office here all day watching "funny" online videos and complaining about the heat, but sometimes we also do real, actual research, kind of like the research that smart, professional people are paid to do. This is one of those times. This is for all you emerging markets types.

Our team was able to uncover a soon-to-be-hot investment sector no one's talking about (except us, apparently), and Icon Group International has done all the heavy lifting for you. The Daily Feed presents: the 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China, available from the good folks at Amazon.com for the low, low price of just $495.

The description alone is enough to make the hair on even the most traditional investor's arms stand on end.

Are you sitting down? Would it happen to be on wood? Good, because here's an excerpt:

"This econometric study covers the latent demand outlook for wood toilet seats across the regions of Greater China, including provinces, autonomous regions (Guangxi, Nei Mongol, Ningxia, Xinjiang, Xizang - Tibet), municipalities (Beijing, Chongqing, Shanghai, and Tianjin), special administrative regions (Hong Kong and Macau), and Taiwan (all hereafter referred to as "regions"). Latent demand (in millions of U.S. dollars), or potential industry earnings (P.I.E.) estimates are given across some 1,100 cities in Greater China. For each major city in question, the percent share the city is of the region and of Greater China is reported. Each major city is defined as an area of "economic population", as opposed to the demographic population within a legal geographic boundary. For many cities, the economic population is much larger that the population within the city limits; this is especially true for the cities of the Western regions. For the coastal regions, cities which are close to other major cities or which represent, by themselves, a high percent of the regional population, actual city-level population is closer to the economic population (e.g. in Beijing). Based on this "economic" definition of population, comparative benchmarks allow the reader to quickly gauge a city's marketing and distribution value vis-a-vis others."

Go on--join the sheep-like herds rushing into gold. Or spend your afternoon poring over charts trying to figure out the perfect entry point for whatever today's trendy investment turns out to be.

Me?

I'm banking on a country of 1.3 billion people who, as far as I can tell, all have to poop.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.
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