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What to Do After Buying a Ton of Gold

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At the Reuters Global Private Banking Summit, UBS executive Josef Stadler reiterated that people are buying gold in droves--and some are even buying it by the ton.

"We had a clear example of a couple buying over a ton of gold ... and carrying it to another place," Stadler said.

Now, if you're like me, buying gold by the ton and "carrying it to another place" presents certain logistical problems. Like, how to carry it. And where that place is.

A bank vault? Hahahahaha! What kind of idiot stores their gold in a bank? No, what the prudent ton-of-gold buyer does is contact Ed Peden at (or by phone at 785-256-6029) and get themselves not only a safe, secure, impenetrable place to live that is impervious to nuclear fallout and people out to get them, but a perfect place to store 2,000 pounds of shiny, yellow gold.

Here are a few places up for sale right now:

You'll also want to make sure you have Internet access so you can Google different methods of exactly lso, how to shave off just the right amount of gold when you want to buy a slice of pizza or a Coke, and how to make sure the cashier doesn't try to shove any worthless paper money or coins back at you instead of giving you your change in gold--which, of course, will be the only worthwhile currency after the world collapses under the weight of left-wing politicians and California's debt.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.