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What Does Your Last Name Say About Your Shopping Behavior?

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A new study in the Journal of Consumer Research, not to be confused with the Journal of Loosely Correlated Hypotheses, argues that people whose last names begins near the end of the alphabet are more likely to go shopping than people whose surnames begin near the front of the alphabet. The thinking goes like this: back in elementary school most of us were selected for various activities by teachers who simply go right down their alphabetized class lists. As a result, kids with names at the end of the alphabet develop a trigger-finger when it comes to seizing opportunities.

The Today Show reported…today…the following:

“In one study, e-mails were sent out offering a chance at $500 in exchange for completing a survey. Responses zipped in from people with surnames near the end of the alphabet. Those from people with names from the beginning trickled in much later.

“In another study, researchers sent out an offer for free basketball tickets, noting that supplies were limited. Sure enough, people with names starting late in the alphabet were the first to answer.”

To prove that early childhood was the deciding factor, the researchers also studied the shopping behavior of women who take a new last name. They discovered that a woman’s married name had no correlation to her shopping behavior.

So what can we take away from all this?  Absolutely nothing.

Or maybe this: If the US government is serious about getting Americans to go shopping again, it’s high time we forget about tax policy, consumer confidence, and any so-called “stimulus plans” and simply mandate that everyone’s last name be immediately changed to Zyskowski.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.