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Warning: Laptops Linked to Sperm Reduction

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There’s no gentle way to ask this question. So we’ll just hand it over to Reuters.

No, we didn’t Photoshop the article in any way. The issue is positively, 100% legitimate. And positively, 100% frightening.

According to a study in Fertility and Sterility, putting a laptop exactly where its name suggests you ought to could affect men’s sperm quality by overheating the testicles.

From the Reuters:

“The researchers hooked thermometers to the scrotums of 29 young men who were balancing a laptop on their knees. They found that even with a lap pad under the computer, the men's scrotums overheated quickly.

"Millions and millions of men are using laptops now, especially those in the reproductive age range," said Dr. Yefim Sheynkin, a urologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, who led the new study.

"Within 10 or 15 minutes their scrotal temperature is already above what we consider safe, but they don't feel it," he added.

What’s worse, the study says that putting fabric or even a pillow between one’s lap and a laptop doesn’t offer enough protection.

But while we’re on the subject of overcooked testicles, now would be a good time to point out that some testicles really are meant to be cooked.

Serbian chef Ljubomir R. Erovic’s classic “The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls” is simply a must have for anyone looking to add a little spice to their culinary repetoire.

Stallion, ostrich, bull, pig and turkey balls are all considered aphrodisiatic delicacies in places like Serbia and China, and chef Erovic is happy to share how best to prepare them.

And if you get really good at it, make sure to compete in Erovic’s World Testicle Cooking Championship.

Yes, it actually exists.

The only question is, will laptops be permitted for use in the competition?
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