Sorry!! The article you are trying to read is not available now.

U.S. Leads World in Serial Killer Production

Print comment Post Comments
Picture, if you will, the sweet, sweet sound of a Park Avenue living room filled with people lucky enough to have been born to parents whose parents' parents worked hard enough to allow them the luxury--necessity, really--of not having to dirty their manicured, callous-free hands by engaging in such things as traditional employment, chattering away about the world and all of its attendant problems.

A fellow "in real estate" makes a show of feigning rage at BP for smothering brown pelicans in oil, while his mind drifts, momentarily, to the money he's minting from the short position his wealth manager established for his family trust the day after the spill.

"We just don't make anything in America anymore," he proclaims with a rueful smile, before taking a sip of Chardonnay, enjoying the smooth, oaky, buttery finish.

Of course,the "we" actually means "others who aren't me". But, no matter--this isn't the time, nor place, to get involved in such semantics.

That's when a dapper gent "in film" sets the record straight.

"Oh, Marc," he says with a patronizing chuckle. "Such a cynic. We do make stuff. Have you tried the Chevre at the little farmstand on Mecox Road in Bridgehampton, just past Kelly Klein's horse farm? Out of this world, just phenomenal."

Suddenly, the front door bursts open and a middle-aged man in a rainbow wig, floral sundress, swim fins, and an AK-47 slung over his shoulder, sprays the room with machine gun fire.

There are no survivors. And that's because, while Saudi Arabia may be "best" at oil and India may be "best" at high technology, the United States is "best" at serial killers! (Look at GQ getting all interactive on the World Wide Web!)


Keep your cocoa, Cote d'Ivoire. Your mass murderers ain't got nothin' on ours. An excerpt from a piece of 1986 correspondence (of dubious provenance) says it all:

"Say, isn't your fiancee the gal who shotgunned her sleeping daughter, then turned the weapon on herself? Merely blew off part of her left arm, though, right ? Talk about a lid for every pot: What a miracle you two marksmen found each other."

Read the entire exchange here:
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.