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TSA to Introduce "Foreplay-Like" Patdowns at Nation's Airports Tomorrow

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Starting tomorrow, passengers at all 450 of the nation's airports will be the lucky recipients of the TSA's new "aggressive" body searches that have been likened by Kate Hinni of to "foreplay."

The pat-downs will include over-the-clothes searches of breast and genital areas, and will be administered to fliers who refuse full-body x-ray scans.

Privacy groups are outraged, but why?

The TSA has proven itself to be incompetent, absolutely ineffective, and just short of wholly useless. That's why the scans and pat-downs are sorely needed, as the screeners themselves have performed abysmally. Below, a litany of failure:
  • There were the TSA screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport that failed 20 of 22 security tests conducted by undercover U.S. agents, missing "an array of concealed bombs and guns at checkpoints throughout the hub's three terminals."
  • There were the TSA screeners that missed a bagful of shotgun shells with which one passenger at Milwaukee General Mitchell Airport absentmindedly boarded his flight. When he realized his error--which the TSA hadn't--he handed them over to the flight attendant before the plane left the ground.

Even the TSA's bomb-sniffing dogs are incompetent.
  • In January, several had to be removed from service at Philadelphia International Airport after they failed their re-certification tests. "I used to say FAA security was zero security to put a numerical indicator on it," said one former inspector. "Meaning there wasn't any security. You could do pretty much what you wanted to do. It was all illusion. But under TSA it's actually worse than zero security."
Hopefully, the foreplay-like pat-downs and full-body scans will up that success rate back to zero.

At this point, it's pretty much the best we can hope for.
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