Metallica's manager is rushing the band through Europe to avoid the continent's debt troubles.
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Business is down, crime is up, and rent-a-cops are working overtime.
Research from Harvard Business School shows Americans work so many hours, they're hurting the economy.
"I can't look at your fat face anymore. Everything you say is s**t."
Hey, it's not like the guy's shown questionable judgment in the past or anything...
Serendipitously, euros are, obviously, eagerly accepted in Europe, where drug cartels are increasingly doing more and more business.
In other news, Azerbaijan's currency is the manat.
China's answer to Mickey.