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The Video That Banned YouTube From Turkey

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Turkey has banned YouTube from the country for 30 months after a video surfaced showing the Deniz Baykal, former chairman of The Republican People’s party, with a woman in a hotel room in a purported sex scandal.

The ruling comes just days after the country ended a previous ban on YouTube which had been in effect since May 2008. Google, which operates YouTube, has refused to take the steamy video down.

The sex scandal has rocked Turkish politics for months, and, like any sex scandal involving politicians not of one’s own country, seems positively absurd. Last May, Baykal, a staple in Turkish politics for 40 years, resigned after categorically denying any wrongdoing and putting the blame on international religious conspirators.

Well, Mr. Baykal, here’s the thing. Words are just words. And what matters to the citizens of Turkey, and the world, is what you actually did.

So, let’s go to the video tape! WARNING: The video you’re about to watch could contain inappropriate material.  So if that's not your thing, we'll provide a written account of what's going on below.

Okay…as you can see, the footage is grainy. That almost certainly confirms what we’re about to see is a sex tape. Now we’re seeing a man’s legs. He’s walking. He’sl walking. He’s taking off his coat! No wait, he’s putting on his coat. Okay, now he’s standing around. Not doing much. Man, this is boring.

WAIT! A woman has just appeared in the video. She’s sort of just…sitting on the bed.

And now the man comes back and he’s….oh my God he’s taking something out of a suitcase.

And she’s….she is…making the bed while he’s standing with the suit case!

Now he’s walking around again while she sort of mills about the room.

Any second now we’re going to see something…any second…and….they left.

Man…Turkish porn sucks.
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