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Diageo Employee Pensions to be Paid in Whisky

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Diageo, which owns brands such as Johnny Walker and Guinness, is apparently now going to be paying employee pensions with whisky. This raises two important questions: 1) How much whisky are we talking about, exactly? and 2) Where do we sign? Just kidding... about the where do we sign part (we're partial to Kentucky bourbon). But the part about the whisky payments is totally true!

Like many companies, Diageo has a pension deficit. In other words, bad investments (the pension trustees would argue bad luck, but whatever) through their pension funds have left the company with a pension fund shortfall of more than a billion dollars (£862m).

The way the scheme works is the whisky, from the group's 27 distilleries in Scotland, including Oban, Talisker and Caol Ila, will be used as collateral that will eventually revert back to the company for no more than £430m while in the meantime producing an annual income stream. It's like dollar cost averaging with booze, or a boozuity.
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