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The Biggest Divorce Case In History That's Illegal to Talk About

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I’ve never been to Switzerland. So when I read that it’s technically illegal under Swiss law to publish an article about the Russian billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev's divorce trial which is currently taking place in Geneva, I was reminded of another American’s reaction to international foes: Bring ‘em on.

In what Britain’s Daily Mail is calling the “biggest divorce settlement in history,” the case against Rybolovlev has all the intrigue of a Latin American soap opera combined with all the blood-curdling vindictiveness found in a great 18th century Russian novel.

Rybolovlev, who made is fortune mining potash, is the world’s 79th richest person. When his wife, Elena, announced her plan to divorce Rybolovlev, the “fertilizer king,” as he his known, transferred billions into a trust in Cyprus. Switzerland doesn’t have a treaty with Cyprus. Now Elena is demanding $6 billion.

Elena, we can only guess, is probably a little miffed.

But if you ask me, the real star of this drama is Rybolovlev’s attorney, who the Daily Mail identifies as Anne Reiser and who, for the purposes of this post, I will refer to only as “The Jaguar.”

Because the case is being tried in civil court, The Jaguar has argued that publishing details about the case could be considered a criminal offense in Switzerland.

And if you were wondering why I’ve decided to refer to Reiser as “The Jaguar,” well, just listen to the sheer force, the unbridled confidence in her client’s legal right not to be written about.

“In case you have planned to do it, please refrain…That's all. And there is a please.”

Then, the threat!

“If by any chance you are going to print anything about my client, then you are formally put on notice that my client reserves his right, maybe, to do something about it.”

But what? What will he do?!

“He can do a lot of things. He can, he'd rather not.”

C'mon, Rybolovlevl, I double-dog dare you.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.