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Texas State Fair Will Debut Deep Fried Beer

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Proving that frequenting state fairs is a recipe for an early grave, Eric Aasen at the Dallas Morning News announced the culinary lineup expected to ooze down your gullets this September. And not surprising for a state that once held five of the top eight spots of America's fattest cities, many of the menu items vying for the Sixth Annual Big Tex Choice Awards are deep fried.

Deep Fried S'mores Pop-Tart. Deep Fried Chocolate. Texas Fried Frito Pie. Texas Fried Caviar. For a beverage, how 'bout Deep Fried Lemonade or Deep Fried Coke? And those pansies who can't take a little cholesterol, there's Fernie's Fried Club Salad.

But looking to top last year's official selection of Deep Fried Butter, one entry is hoping to make a splash with the judges. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to chew your way through a bender, because here comes Deep Fried Beer.

Aasen described the inhuman concoction as "a beer-filled pretzel-like dough pocket that's shaped like ravioli." And like Freshen Up gum if it were made by Anheuser-Busch, the liquid center pours out when you bite into it. Its creator Mark Zable asked the question on nobody's mind, "Why drink your beer when you can eat it?"

I, uh, don't know, Mark.

But beer-eaters aren't going to have all the fun: Deep Fried Frozen Margaritas are also on deck. For those curious about what will throttle people into the emergency room, it's "a funnel cake batter mixed with either tequila or tequila-flavored wine, dusted with margarita mix and served in a salt-rimmed plastic glass."

"If somebody were to eat a dozen of them," co-creator Jack Levy told the News, "they might get a little head rush."

I believe it's called a stroke, Jack.
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