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Study Somehow Calculates Men's Refusal to Ask Directions

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COMEDY CELLAR STATISTICS
DailyFeed
Analysts at the British car insurance company Sheila's Wheels are likely visiting their physicians due to the numbers they recently pulled from their collective ass.

Presumably spearheaded by comedienne Rita Rudner, a study claims male drivers spend an extra 276 miles every year because they refuse to pull over and ask for directions. Comparatively, women are responsible for an extra 256 miles.

But frustrating to most Evening at the Improv veterans, the group has yet to comment on how much electricity is wasted by men staring into open refrigerators and water preservation figures for when women go to the bathroom in groups.

According to the study, more than one in four men will wait a half hour before asking for directions and 12% refuse to ask at all. And don't get them started on how quicker the remote control's batteries run out when men operate them -- what with the incessant clicking and all!

Women, on the other hand, are much more willing to stop for directions. Nearly three out of four women willingly ask for directions -- and 37% pull over immediately when they realize they're lost. The percentage may fluctuate when applying a shoe sale as a variable.

The research also points out that drivers over the age of 55 have the best sense of direction -- getting lost an average of 26 times a year. This bests motorists under 25 who get lost, on average, 37 times a year. Of course, by not leaving their left turn signal on, the younger set won't have to worry about dead batteries nearly as much.

But you have to hand it to Sheila's Wheels. Not many companies will legitimize and calculate 1980s observational comedy.

However, until we have the exact percentage, we'll never know just how many airline seats refuse to recline all the way.
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