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Snoop Dogg Teams Up With Colt 45 To Launch, Well, Probably Some Congressional Hearing

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It being the day after St. Patrick’s, there’s probably no topic you’d like to read about more than malt liquor.

Done heaving? Okay, let’s move on.

After decades of decline, Colt 45, with the help of Snoop Dogg, is about to burst onto the scene with a new line of fruit-infused flavors called Blast. The Wall Street Journal reports the “beverage will contain fruit flavors and 12% alcohol by volume, about twice the level of original version of Colt 45.”

In what can only be described as a bit of marketing genius, Blast will be unveiled on April 4th, or 4-5. Given the lifespan of similarly marketed products like Four Loko, we can expect that Blast will last, oh, about 2 months before some group of underage drinkers invent some kind of Blast-related drinking game that will result in untold horrors. We’ll then have some Congressional hearings about the product, and the FDA will swoop in and blast Blast from the shelves.

Or not.

The Journal reports that the owners of the Colt brand, Evan and Daren Metropoulos, will make a point of discouraging binge drinking.

"We are going to pound home the message of drinking responsibly as a main focus," Daren Metropoulos said.

Which, I guess, explains why they decided to bring in Snoop Dogg.

In any event, if Blast manages to survive government intervention, it could prove to be a smart move for the Metropoulos clan. Sales of “progressive adult beverages,” which contrary to popular belief does not mean that they support left-wing candidates, has risen 19% to $959 million last year, according to the Journal.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.