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Online Media Editor's Checkbook Balance Reveals Deep and Horrifying Unhappiness

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Here is something we've always suspected, which science has now confirmed: people with a lot of money are much happier than the rest of us. Huh.

But, as usual, there's a catch.

"Yes, money makes you happy -- we see the effect of income on life satisfaction is very strong and virtually ubiquitous and universal around the world," said Ed Diener, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Illinois who led the study. "But it makes you more satisfied than it makes you feel good. Positive feelings are less affected by money and more affected by the things people are doing day to day."

Oh science, you are a cruel mistress. Whatever. Whiskey makes me feel good. At this point, I could stand a little more satisfaction and a little less feeling good.

POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.