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New Study Finds Mustached Americans Earn More

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U.S. ADOPTS CASH FOR 'STACHE PROGRAM
Unfortunately - or perhaps for a recession-battered economy, fortunately - while mustached men are high earners, they are big time spenders and poor savers. "This study shows that nearly all discretionary income of Mustached Americans is spent on entertainment, household disposables, bottled beverages, and luxury items."

See, the mustache is more than just superficially creative facial hair; it's a lifestyle.

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