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Limbs, Torsos, Heads: On Sale Now in Germany!

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Having dominated August's offbeat news with cheeky marketing for a cannibal restaurant, Germany is back in the flesh trade once again. Gunther von Hagens, the anatomist behind the infamous Body Worlds exhibit and Germany's answer to the preacher from Poltergeist II, has tired of simply displaying dissected human corpses and has decided to sell them off as well.

Head on over to Plastinarium Guben to buy your very own piece of a human carcass, lovingly preserved and plastinated. Torsos come in at 56,644 euros, heads for around 22,000 euros, and a "superficial dissection of lower extremity" weighs in at just under 11,000 euros. Sorry, females cost extra.

But then again, these items remind us that life is short. Why not purchase the whole enchilada -- an entire human body -- for a mere 70,000 euros.

Disgusted? Queasy? The description on how the item is prepared might persuade you:

Combined superficial and dept dissection of the muscles of the extremities. The origins and insertions of each muscle is clearly demonstrated by removal of the connective tissue. The muscles themselves are separated from each other along their pathways. Dissection of all nerves and arteries listed in the anatomical nomenclature. At various locations the large veins have been left in place.

The head has been cut frontally in 3 thick slices which have been arranged like an partly opened book. The front slice shows anteriorly the facial muscles and the nasal and paranasal cavities from the back. The middle head slice shows the dissected eye ball with eye muscles, the pharynx, the tongue as well as the organs of the neck with larynx and trachea. The back slice comprises the neck muscles, the occipital bone, both parietal bones and the brain which pops out of the occiput.

Thoracic and abdominal cavity:
For opening the thoracic cavity, the sternum has been cut in midline and the anterior wall opened like a double door, allowing examination of the thoracic organs in situ from the front. The abdominal cavity has been opened in the same way by creating a double door. Both abdominal flaps have been opened below the lower costal margin and above the inguinal region with the inguinal canal.

As a centerpiece, it's perfect for graduations, holiday gatherings, and anniversaries.

Unfortunately, the buzzkills over at the Plastinarium insist that only "qualified users" with written proof of medical intent may purchase the preserved human flesh. However, reproductions of human body parts and slices of actual animal tissue -- such as wristbands made from giraffe tails and earrings made from bull penises -- are open to the general public.

If you're struggling for gift ideas, I don't mean to drop any hints, but Tom Petty's "Mary Jane's Last Dance" can't re-enact itself.

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