Sorry!! The article you are trying to read is not available now.

Kraft CFO Timothy McLevish to Step Down, MV Editor-in-Chief Kevin Depew Weighs In

Print comment Post Comments
Kraft Foods Inc. announced yesterday that CFO Timothy McLevish will leave the company mid-year “to pursue opportunities in general management.”

“From the beginning of his tenure as CFO and our spin-off from Altria, Tim has had a clear mandate to reshape the portfolio and our capital structure, which he accomplished with the highest quality results,” chairman and CEO Irene Rosenfeld said in a statement. “Tim, along with the rest of the management team, executed our three-year turnaround plan and established a foundation to drive down costs and overheads, while markedly improving the company’s cash flow. We will miss Tim’s perspective and commitment, but we respect his desire to take on new and different challenges. We wish him the very best.”

But, is McLevish really leaving to "take on new and different challenges?" Or did he have the same misgivings about the company as Minyanville editor-in-chief Kevin Depew did in 2007, when Altria decided to spin the unit off?

  The bottom line is you can’t smoke cheese.

   Actually, strictly speaking, you can smoke cheese if we’re talking about something like smoked gouda or smoked cheddar.

  No, I mean you can’t literally smoke cheese. Try lighting up what Altria might possibly call a “Cheezarette,” like a cigarette, only made of cheese. They taste horrible, like petroleum nachos, and the cheese tends to get all melty, ooze out and drip all over your clothes.

  That’s disgusting.

  No, Justin, that’s “Big Cheese.”

  But Kraft has hundreds of products other than cheese, including Vegemite and…

  Smoked it.

  You’ve smoked Vegemite?

  Very salty, with a tight draw, burns forever.

  OK, what about Tang? Kraft makes Tang too. Have you smoked Tang?

  I’ve probably exhaled more Tang than astronauts drank during the entire Gemini space program.

  Why? Why would you do that? Why would you smoke Tang?

  Because I was out of ice. Clearly, you know very little about being an astronaut.

  I... okay.  We should just stop now. 

  Remember, you can't smoke cheese.

Godspeed, Tim.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.