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John Goss Named Asian Carp Czar

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The White House has named John Goss, formerly with the Indiana Department of Natural Resources and the Indiana Wildlife Federation as the country's new Asian Carp Czar, bringing the total number of Czars to 41.

As Carp Czar, Goss will oversee the federal government's $80 million, "multi-pronged" effort in keeping Asian Carp, an invasive species with no natural predators in the US, that is threatening the native fish of the Great Lakes.

Asian Carp were brought over in the 70s to keep Southern wastewater retention ponds clean, but Mississippi River flooding allowed the fish to escape.

Goss, who may or may not be working closely with the administration's Great Lakes Czar, Cameron Davis, will have his hands full--but can always call on Joshua DuBois, the Faith-Based Czar, for a prayer when the going gets tough.

Illinois Senator Dick Durbin assured reporters that no one is taking the Carp threat lightly.

"When it comes to the Asian carp threat, we are not in denial. We are not in a go-slow mode. We are in a full attack, full-speed ahead mode. We want to stop this carp from advancing," he said.

No word yet as to whether or not Science Czar John Holdren will be involved in any of the decision-making or if Performance Czar Jeffrey Zients will be monitoring Goss's progress, but it is fairly certain that Domestic Violence Czar Lynn Rosenthal will be far removed from the initiative--unless, that is, the Asian Carp, although not a domestic species, become violent.
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