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In London, Your Dinner Date Can Literally Be a Dog

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I always despised those ads for Fancy Feast, putting a Persian cat with a personal butler, silver serving tray, and crystal food bowl as the 30-second protagonist. Yeah, when I buy food for my cat, I want it to acquire the most arrogant and conceited qualities of the wealthiest one percent. I want my cat to adopt prejudices and look down upon the plebian felines eating their food from a plastic dish. I want my cat to complain about congress possibly raising the taxes on its already exorbitant salary.

But rather than recognizing the slippery slope of breeding a wave of overly entitled pets, a new restaurant in London is catering to the local canines with a taste for prestigious dining experiences.

Open for a limited time, Lily's Kitchen welcomes pups from all walks of life to partake in eating from the table next to decorative floral centerpieces. Tables seat four and come with a personal waiter. According to Oddity Central, the four-legged patrons can conclude the meal with the pampering of their choice, such as "have their bellies rubbed, snooze on a comfy sofa, have their aches soothed by a holistic vet, or even enjoy a nice story, read to them by members of the restaurant staff."

The establishment eschews your typical highfalutin doggie restaurant by being free of charge. But once your pal has a taste of their special organic menu, you're roped in for the extra costs by their heightened palate.

And come on, what are you pet owners doing here? You're just promoting snobbish behavior by passing it down to our innocent pets! Whatever happened to a well-worn tennis ball or a dirty slipper? Whatever happened to... to... to the, uh...

Oh, would you look at those little guys? Who's having a fancy dinner? Who's thinks he's people? Yes! You do! Awww, he likes the priciest brand, the little darling.

OK, how much for a case?
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