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In Attempt to Goose Sales, Kraft Suggests Making Fudge With Velveeta

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NOW THIS IS HAPPENING
DailyFeed
In an attempt to increase sales, some companies are featuring recipes on the web which promote alternate uses of well-known brands, according to the New York Times.

"Among the more prominent recipes that have spurred sales is Chex Party Mix, which blends three varieties of Chex, the General Mills cereal, with ingredients including peanuts, pretzels and Worcestershire sauce. First featured on cereal boxes in the 1950s, the concoction is popular during the holiday season, helping to explain why roughly half of the annual sales for Chex occur in the final three months of every year," the newspaper reports.

The Times notes that General Mills is also pushing a dish called "Beer and Bacon Mancakes," which features, obviously, beer, bacon and Bisquick, manufactured by none other than General Mills.

But it's Kraft that seems to have taken the re-purposing of ingredients to an altogether different level of insanity, with Velveeta Fudge.

Yes, this is an actual recipe featured on Kraft's website, and no, it is not a joke.



“The beauty of Velveeta is that when it melts it has an incredibly creamy texture, so the fudge is incredibly rich and creamy,” a Kraft spokesperson said.

I can hear it now:

"Mom's making fudge! Mom's making fudge!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And then...the fudge is served. Smiles fade. Faces drop. Something...doesn't taste, uh...quite right. Ach, kids these days. Don't they know the best fudge comes from 3/4 lb. of fluorescent cheese in a jar?
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