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How Does Philadelphia Cream Cheese Have 32,496 Facebook Friends?

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I like cream cheese. It's mild and unoffensive; the cheese equivalent of fish for people who don't like fish.

I'm certain some people love cream cheese. Perhaps there are one or two obsessives among us who have an unhealthy level of appreciation for it.

In fact, if you were to go looking for those one or two, a good place to start would be the Philadelphia Cream Cheese Facebook page.

Surely, there must be--wait a second...32,496 people have friended a brand of cream cheese?

At first this figure appears to be strange. But a bit more digging produces a trove of information about Philadelphia Cream Cheese that makes me feel like maybe those 32,496 know something the rest of us don't. Actually, they do know something the rest of us don't. No, those 32,496 know a lot of things the rest of us don't.

We've all seen the coveted gold medals won by various brands of Worcestershire sauces, ketchups, and crackers displayed prominently on their labels. Philly (being the modest cream cheese it is...) doesn't need to make unsolicited boasts. No, it's a cheese confident enough to let its friends stumble upon its accolades:

Wow. A few more clicks of the mouse and I start wondering if I'm even worthy of Philly's friendship:

Best of class in the "Spreadable" category?? Impressive. And this isn't some second-class, "send-us-the-entry-fee-and-you're-guaranteed-a-prize" type of contest. No, the World Championship Cheese Contest attracts the best cheeses from the finest cheesemaking nations in the world:

And who knew there were so many different judging categories?

(Hang on--there are so many, I couldn't fit them all into one image...)

(Bear with me, I'm not that good with Photoshop...)

In case you're wondering, the winner of the "Open Class, Shredded" category was Team Plymouth from the Sartori Foods Corporation, for their Shredded SarVecchio parmesan.

Okay, I did it. I requested Philly's friendship. Now I'm on tenterhooks waiting to see if I get approved. Wish me luck.

POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.