Sorry!! The article you are trying to read is not available now.

Heather Mills Expects to Take Down McDonald's Single-Leggedly

Print comment Post Comments
Tabloid virus Heather Mills found her method of media self-sustainment years ago. Simply open your mouth, blather outrageous and inconsistent claims, rail against the factual coverage of said claims, enroll in a few reality programs, and allow the attention to rejuvenate your life force like a B-12 injection.

Apparently, Mills was running low in the self-esteem department because she had to make two stops in Crazytown.

First up, a few weeks after Apple, record label EMI, and the Beatles put differences aside and launched on iTunes, Mills has accepted responsibility for the deal. But the elegant and ever-gracious lass that she is, she's refusing to take legal action for a piece of the multimillion-dollar pie.

She told the Daily Mail, "iTunes? I organized it all with Steve Jobs. But there's no way I'm going back to court for more money. It was all settled at the time and that's it."

But not settling for the repercussions of a single vain and unsubstantiated statement, Mills decided to go for gusto with a second claim.

Last year, Mills had opened a vegan restaurant called VBites. Since then, rumors have circulated that business hasn't exactly been booming. As the doors were shut for the winter season, many believed that there was a possibility they would be closed for good. But not Mills. Oh no.

"In ten years there will be more VBites restaurants than McDonald's. It's the future. We've been using the time when the cafe has closed for brainstorming. VBites has been phenomenally successful this year. Everyone loves the food, even carnivores. Plans for it to become a franchise are very much on."

More restaurants-... In ten years-... What???

One of the most recognizable and ubiquitous businesses in the world, having served billions of customers and countless more menu items, usurped by Britain's answer to Kim Kardashian? Not Wendy's, not Applebee's, not even Burger King. McDonald's. And not over the course of many, many decades either. Ten years, she says.

Just delusion upon delusion. No wonder a Beatle member fell for her.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.