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Goldman Sachs to Blow the Cover Off This Thing Once and for All by Producing Hard Hitting Movie About Itself

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Determined to get to the bottom of this financial crisis that the firm itself played a major role in helping to create, before ultimately profiting from it, Goldman Sachs (GS) is using some of the sweet, sweet profits they've raked in to hire a documentary filmmaker to film itself. Ric Burns, co-creator with his brother, Ken, of the PBS "The Civil War" series, has been retained (<-- a nuanced word) by Goldman to help the firm film itself.

Goldman Sachs is paying for the film, has editorial control and is overseeing the project through its marketing department,  the Wall Street Journal reported.

Naturally, The Daily Feed has obtained part of the approved Goldman Sachs script© being used in the documentary's opening scene.

Goldman Sachs, The Movie

Scene 1

The camera slowly pans a black & white photo of a battlefield, could be the Civil War, or even the Spanish American War, who knows! But the camera slowly pans the carnage on the ground as someone who sounds like Shelby Foote delivers the voiceover narration.

NARRATOR: Just as in the original stock market crash of 1929, there were no suicides on Wall Street that day. The real effect of the sudden unwinding of several trillion dollars in complex derivatives contracts would take a little longer to sink in, but some... some on Wall Street had an inkling...


NARRATOR: They were the heroes of the time, self-made men who dared to risk all so that others in their firm may prosper...


NARRATOR: My very dearest Laura:

The indications are very strong that we shall move on American International Group in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more ...

I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American International Group and Goldman Sachs now lean on the triumph of the Government, and Warren Buffett, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Subprime Meltdown. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain Goldman Sachs, and to pay that debt ...but not unless we come through the hellfire of this counterparty risk largely unscathed.

I have, I know, but few and small claims upon the Divine Providence of Hank Paulson and our other friends at U.S. Treasury, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little friend Ben Bernanke, that I shall return to my loved ones at Goldman Sachs unharmed. If I do not, my dear Laura, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field of complex derivatives and the creation of wealth for all of America's financial engineers, it will whisper your name.

Sincerely yours,



POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.