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German Catholics Want to Banish Santa Claus from Christmas

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There’s a new front in the ongoing war on Christmas. The latest victim? Santa.

Reuters reports:

“A group of German Catholics wants to do away with Santa Claus because of the fictional figure's commercial hype and replace him with St Nicolas and the selfless giving they say he represents.”

Given the slow economy, this might not be the best year to dissuade people from the “commercial” side of Christmas. But, I’m willing to respect the idea that, yes, Christmas is a holiday, and yes, the focus should be on all the intangible wonders of said holiday.

But, it’s one thing to get rid of Santa altogether, and another thing entirely to swap him out for St. Nicolas. I don’t’ know about you, but I can’t wrap my head around how anyone could think this guy is equipped for the job.

First off, is this the kind of man who looks like he enjoys cookies and milk?

Next, if I saw this guy coming down my chimney, I’d shoot him first and ask questions later.

And last but not least, the only thing you’re gonna get sitting on this guy’s lap is crabs. Period.

So, rail against the commercialization of Christmas all you want. But if you think you can just willy-nilly pick out some random saint-or-something to do Santa’s job, you’re sorely mistaken.
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