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Ford Motor Company Instantly Creates Millions of Teenage Eunuchs

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ANNALS OF DUBIOUS PROGRESS
DailyFeed
CNN is reporting:

"Ford has announced upgrades to its MyKey technology that will allow parents to control both speed settings and satellite radio programming in their family cars."

The upgrades allow parents more options in setting the car's maximum speed, lets them limit the stereo's volume, and can block "explicit programming" like Howard Stern's show. The feature that gives parents the ability to mute the radio until passengers up front buckle up will be left as-is.

But, but, but...kids are supposed to drive like idiots. That's the very essence of the American way! When they inevitably kill themselves, it's the universe's way of maintaining a natural balance. It's like what China's government does with the one child policy, without the government telling us to do it.

As for the innocent bystanders that get hurt, killed, and maimed, well, I'll leave that to the scientists. Ford: you're playing God here, and I don't like it one bit.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.
TAGS:  FORD, MYKEY, ANNALS OF INSTANT CASTRATION    SOURCE:   CNN

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