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Doomsday Shelters Making a Comeback... Baby Boomer Style

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It's not enough to have just a plain underground shelter to keep the nuclear radiation out. No, because for the generation that brought us the World's Worst Debt Bubble and Financial Collapse in the History of Mankind, only the most luxurious "doomsday shelter" will suffice.

Enter... Vivos:

"Vivos is the life assurance solution for you and your family to survive the next earth devastating catastrophe that either nature or mankind may create. Our network of hardened, nuclear blast proof shelters will provide for up to one year of autonomous underground survival for 200 people in each Vivos shelter. We invite you to apply for co-ownership of the Vivos shelter complex closest to your home area from our planned worldwide network. Where else would you go with just a few days' notice? You cannot predict, but you can prepare!"

It's only $50,000 per adult, $25,000 per kid. Hey, for those Gen-X and younger still living at home, look, a silver lining!

Here's the Vivos Upper Dome Community Area.

What, no slot machines?

Here are the living quarters, and the washing machine of course.

Ok. Let's... let's just review. You do realize that the reason you are living in a luxury doomsday shelter in the first place... is because there has been an EARTH DEVASTATING CATASTROPHE? I mean, we're clear on that, right? You're hiding out in a luxury underground resort because, according to Vivos, there's been a pole shift, a super volcanic eruption, solar flares, an earthquake, tsunami, asteroid, bio terrorism, chemical warfare or -- and I swear this is true -- "even the return of Planet X (known as Niburu or Nemesis) and the solar disturbances it will cause." (Sigh.)

As a child of the 80s who lived under the constant threat of Ronald Reagan's nuclear war and the Star Wars Missile Defense System, my research shows that the best place to be during a nuclear war isn't in a shelter, but right under the nosecone of the missile, right where it lands. But good luck!

Now this? This is a doomsday shelter. That's old school.

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