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Confirmed: Adults Sleeping With Their Cell Phones

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The Pew Internet & American Life Project released a mind-blowing report yesterday, throwing into question traditional understandings of fidelity, love, sex, and technology. The conclusions are indisputably frightening.

First, when people says they “love their cell phone,” they really love their cell phone.

According to the study, 65% of adults with cell phones say they have slept with their cell phone. The report did not specify the nature or duration of said activity, but we can only assume the phone had little say in the matter.

Second, the long-standing belief that having children can negatively impact a couple’s sex life is irrefutably supported by the following: 72% of parents have slept with their phone, compared to 62% of non-parents.

Third, as with human interactions, coupling with phones is generally associated with feelings of well-being. Consider:

Adults who have slept with or near their phones are also more likely to feel positively about their phone.

They are more likely to appreciate the way the phone helps them to make plans (94% vs. 78% of those who don’t sleep with their phone) and to see the phone as a source of entertainment (52% vs. 14%).

But it’s not all puppies and rainbows. As with any relationship, sleeping your way through difficulties, problems, and miscommunications is not a cure-all.

Phone sleepers are just as likely to express irritation with the phone as those who don’t sleep near their handset.

Another few (unsurprising) tidbits:

Men sleep with their phones more than women. (67% v. 64%)

Citydwellers lust after phones more than rural folk.  (70% v. 61%)

And, of course, the 18-29 crowd are basically sluts. (90%)

No word yet on an uptick of cellularly transmitted diseases, but we'll keep you posted.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.
TAGS:  CELL PHONES    SOURCE:   Pew Research Center