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Buy Year-Old Garbage From NYC Park For Only $125!

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Everywhere you look, someone's saying Americans aren't spending enough money.

But New York City's Bryant Park is betting that someone, somewhere out there, will be willing to shell out $125 for their very own beat-up, used, year-old chair that was sat on, spat on, kicked, scratched, manhandled, abused, and likely, slept on, by an actual New Yorker.

Oh, wait. Sorry. It's not "used." It's "vintage."


"Bring home the most cherished and iconic element of Bryant Park, the signature bistro chair. Your Vintage Bryant Park Chair will be selected from the park’s collection of distinctive furniture, greatly coveted and used daily by Midtown professionals and Manhattan dwellers alike. Each steel-framed chair, fitted with wooden slats, is painted in our custom shade, 'Bryant Park Green.' Every chair is authentic, guaranteed to have been in the park for at least one year, and will bear distinctive wear patterns created by patron use and weather conditions."

If you do take the plunge and purchase a flimsy, crappy seat that the park was going to throw away before a light bulb went off in someone's head and somehow convinced another person to try and sell an actual piece of trash that no one living in New York even really wants to sit in for too long for free, please contact me.

I have several pairs of underwear, socks, and yellowing T-shirts that I personally guarantee have been used for at least one year and bear distinctive wear patterns created by personal use and dietary conditions.
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