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AT&T Living in Fantasy World

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When Verizon countered Apple's successful iPhone campaign with "There's a Map for That," the company had AT&T dead to rights. Its 3G network was certainly larger and provided coverage in more areas. Unless it wanted a mass exodus, AT&T had to respond -- it was certainly easier than improving its infrastructure.

The company launched a series of ads featuring Luke Wilson standing on a US map and touting the areas AT&T was offered -- as well as sharing a piece of his sexual history in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Using abstract phrases like "best 3G experience" and "most popular smartphones," the ads failed to connect with potential customers or deter existing subscribers from badmouthing the service.

Like its calls, the ad campaign was soon dropped.

But now, AT&T believes it's found a way to use maps in its ads and still stand toe-to-toe with Verizon. All it has to do is rely on fictional worlds to brag about its service.

The Los Angeles Times shared a few posters related to AT&T's newest campaign. The running theme is that if make-believe lands like Lilliput, Camelot, or Neverland, then AT&T would most definitely be the leading carrier there. The Times' David Sarno pointed out that this falls in line with the logical rule that "If false, then anything."

In other words, if you can't prove AT&T coverage wouldn't be great in Lilliput, then the company wins.

But given Consumer Reports' recent rating of AT&T as the worst provider in the country, maybe it should have chosen fictional worlds that fall more in line with its abhorrent service. Here are some suggestions, free of charge:

"More wretched scum in Mos Eisley choose AT&T for villainy than any other carrier."

"If you've ventured into the Forbidden Zone, AT&T will send that photo of the Statue of Liberty to all your ape friends."

"When in Limbo, you're never floating beyond the reach of an AT&T tower."

"Mordor: a wasteland where AT&T calls aren't dropped, only magical rings."

"It may be at the ocean floor, but the sunken city of R'lyeh keeps Cthulhu connected with his minions -- thanks to AT&T."
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.