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7-11 Expands Menu to Include, Um...Wine

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When you're in the mood for a Corn Dog Roller or a 1/4 Lb. Big Bite, but you just don't feel like washing it down with a Coke, your prayers have been answered.

Yes, the folks that seem to think people "thank heaven" for 7-11, when they are likely, at most, mildly appreciative to have a convenience store in the neighborhood, are taking their chances in the wine business.

Ad Age reports that 7-Eleven "convened a focus group of millennials before launching its latest line of proprietary wines about two weeks ago. The brand, called Cherrywood Cellars, is priced at $7.99 to $8.99 to lure young adult drinkers whom the convenience store chain says might be watching their wallets more closely than Gen X-ers and baby boomers during the economic downturn."

"We are targeting millennials because they like convenience and to try new products," Jesus Delgado-Jenkins, 7-Eleven's senior VP-merchandising and logistics, said in a statement.

Boy, you don't sound too confident, Jesus. 7-11 wine will appeal to consumers because they "like convenience" and enjoy trying "new products?" You could be talking about literally anything, there.

"Oh look, honey--a new motor oil! It's got a screw-cap for convenience,'s new!"

"Hey, that three-ring binder sure looks convenient! And I've never seen the brand before!"

But, I digress. When you want a cheap wine that's convenient, you want something that's been around the block a few times. A trusted partner in your somewhat depressing, probably solitary, cheap wine-drinking experience.

And you don't need to schlep all the way to 7-11 to buy it:

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