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Apple, Google Execs 'Down' for the Count

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Back in August 2010, Minyanville spoke with the creator of Unsuck-It, a site which blissfully translates corporate jargon into "un-synergized" English. Work emails rife with "metrics" and "actionable process" can be converted into everyday speech free from "proactive paradigms."

Because, at the end of the day, you might want to think inside the box.

But given how rampant such jargon is in the tech world, execs from Apple (AAPL), Google (GOOG), and Microsoft (MSFT) could use a visit to Unsuck-It -- even if it meant "doubling down" on their efforts to speak like normal human beings.

Last week, Time Techland's Jared Newman discovered that tech execs throughout the industry have co-opted KFC's (YUM) the dual-chicken patty sandwich as an illustration to how focused their teams are in the weeks and months ahead. Newman points to Apple CEO Tim Cook's usage of the term during the D10 Conference.

Regarding Siri, Cook said, "I think you'll be pleased where we’re taking Siri. We're doubling down on it." And then, on Apple's notorious privacy, "We're going to double down on secrecy on products."

But Cook's hardly alone. Skype CEO Tony Bates echoed his fellow chief from Apple on "doubling down" on secrecy during the conference, as did Brian Humphries -- Senior Vice President of Strategy and Corporate Development at HP (HPQ) -- who championed the company's flailing mobile OS.

"WebOS is the best-in-class mobile operating system," Humphries said. "Our intent is to double down on webOS."

And others in the tech world have joined the fold.

Google's Andy Rubin: "2012 is going to be the year that we double down and make sure we're winning in that space."

HTC president Jason MacKenzie: "Its about the experience. We're doubling down on design to make sure the phones feel great in customers hands."

And Microsoft's Senior Director of PC and Mobile Gaming Kevin Unangst: "So yeah, we’re still going to double down, you're going to see us do more with Forza, with Halo, with Fable; all the franchises."

You can forgive these execs for wanting to generate excitement for the future, and if that means referencing one of KFC's best-selling products of all time, so be it.

But let's at least form an intervention the moment Tim Cook says, "The iPhone 5 is a venerable Famous Bowl of features."

(See also: Facebook Ups Its Animosity Toward Google and AT&T Falsely 'Upgrades' iPhone 4S to 4G)

Twitter: @mcs212

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