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AT&T Is a Bunch of Lying Crack Dealers, Says Fox News

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After years of defending the 1%, lionizing our former president, and claiming the Muppets are brainwashing our children, Fox News (NWS) has finally stumbled upon a public enemy we could all agree on: AT&T (T).

The nation's worst major mobile provider -- three years running! -- has recently come under greater fire for throttling data speeds for customers with unlimited data plans. Despite promising these users that they won't be capped, the maligned carrier has been significantly decreasing download speeds of iPhone (AAPL), Android (GOOG), and BlackBerry (RIMM) users who exceed 2GB per month -- asserting that those who do so are in the top 5% heaviest users on its network. However, the $30 monthly fee that unlimited users pay for their unthrottled 2GB costs the same as AT&T's approved data tier with a limit of 3GB. So whether a user is in the top 5% shouldn't matter. The network should be able to handle the traffic if it already permits larger limits for equal pay.

Or so you would think logic dictates.

But as millions of AT&T users are eying Verizon (VZ) and Sprint (S) customers with increasing envy, an unlikely opponent to the multi-billion-dollar corporation has emerged from within the 5%: Fox News' Shepard Smith.

In a rant-filled segment of the Fox Report, the host railed against the national carrier for promising unlimited data in a contract and getting us hooked on its product, and then pulling the rug out from under us. He, too, received a text message from the carrier ordering him to switch to Wi-FI to avoid "reduced speeds."

Speaking with Mashable's Editor-in-Chief Lance Ulanoff, Smith said, "I'm not doing anything differently than I ever have, but now they're going to charge me more for the same thing I've always been doing." He then added, slathering on the sarcasm, "Thanks! Because your system is awesome. It really works great."

"Welcome to the five percent," Ulanoff interjected.

But Smith isn't having any of AT&T's rhetoric. "So I'm going to pay more for this crap? Because it's crap!" He continued, "When I signed up for this plan...and I bought this phone, they told me I could do this. And I signed up, and I bought this, and I've done everything they told me to do it. Now I gotta pay more." Smith punctuated his point by slamming his phone onto his desk. "They changed the rules."

And as Ulanoff explained how the world has become more reliant on the quantity and quality of data speeds, Smith made a comparison that, frankly, is surprising coming from a Fox News anchor. "They hook you first. It's like giving you crack. It's all-you-can-eat crack, until you like a lotta crack, and then you gotta pay more."

It's safe to assume, and comforting for that matter, that Smith isn't familiar with the proper way to use crack.

With thirty seconds left in the segment, Smith laid it on the line. "You know what these people have done to us? Listen now. They told us, 'Go ahead. Here's all it's going to cost.' We revamp and reorganize our lives around these things. And do exactly what they told us to do. At this price. Unlimited! And signed a contract. Remember the contract? And now the word is, 'We're going to charge you more!'"

Smith, again, slammed his iPhone onto the counter to punctuate his point -- which may soon lead to a bigger issue than throttled data plans.

"Your system's no good, and you fibbed to me, and I don't appreciate it," Smith concluded.

Leave it to AT&T to help us recognize that we're in agreement with some very strange bedfellows.

Check out the phone-slamming segment here:

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