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How Kim Kardashian Can Cash In on Her Divorce

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Poor Kim Kardashian. Although the reality TV star netted a reported $17.9 million from her wedding to Kris Humphries, Kardashian posted a letter to her fans on her website yesterday saying she didn't make a dime from the nuptials:

These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this. I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding and I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation.

We all know that if there’s anything Kim will love forever, it’s the camera. Explaining in her letter why she decided to make a wedding a public spectacle, she wrote:

It’s who I am! We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments. These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!

The erstwhile Mrs. Humphries shouldn't too much about her 72-day marriage, then -- as they say, when one door closes, another opens. Now that the star of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" will be getting her second divorce (watch out, Elizabeth Taylor, she’s coming for you), why not film the entire process and make another E! special out of it? And if she can rope in sponsors aplenty for her wedding, the savvy businesswoman can surely do the same for her divorce.
In fact, Kim, to save you the time since you’re busy grieving, we’ve come up with a business plan for your new money-making opportunity, which we’re tentatively titling “Kim’s It’s-All-Good Divorce: Family’s Still the Best.” We’ve got come up with a helpful list of companies that might be willing to pony up the cash of your new E! Divorce special, so just get your minions to work on securing these sponsorships, and watch the cash come right in!
"Kim's Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event" “Kim’s It’s-All-Good Divorce: Family’s Still the Best”
Four-hour, two-part wedding special on E! Two-hour no-holds-barred special on E!, with special guest interviewer Katie Couric, who will ask tough questions like, “What newspapers and magazines do you regularly read now that you’re single and have more time to yourself?”
People magazine Wedding Exclusive: “'It Was Like We Were in Heaven”
People magazine First Post-Divorce Interview Exclusive: “Now I Know How Britney Felt”
Bachelorette party, sponsored by Tao in Las Vegas Single-and-Ready-to-Mingle-Again party, sponsored by Tao in Las Vegas
OK! magazine bridal shower exclusive OK! magazine singles party exclusive
Wedding dress, sponsored by Vera Wang Moving services for Humphries, sponsored by Uhaul, the company that gets you out of your ex’s apartment with as little awkwardness as possible
Wedding cake, sponsored by Hansen’s Bakery Kim’s post-divorce bachelorette’s pad, sponsored by Equity Residential, which can find you a building filled with hunky and single NBA player
$2 million 20.5 carat engagement ring and $1 million wedding bands, heavily discounted by Lorraine Schwartz Kim’s search for a rebound/next husband, sponsored by, the site where narcissists can find others to adore them
Wedding champagne, sponsored by Perrier Jouet Legal fees, sponsored by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.