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Florida Rep. Has Plan to Revitalize Dwarf-Tossing Industry

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Florida Rep. Ritch Workman, (R-Melbourne), has a plan to get the state working again:

Repeal a 22 year-old ban on dwarf tossing.

Though Workman tells The Florida Current, a publication covering Florida public policy, that he "doesn't condone the dwarf tossing," he filed HB 4063 earlier this week because "the prohibition takes away freedoms and is against the American way."

"To me it's an archaic kind of Big Brother law that says, 'We don't like that activity,' " Workman said. "Well, there is nothing immoral or illegal about that activity. All we really did by passing that law was take away some employment from some little people."

Question is, do little people really want this type of "employment"?

Writes reporter Bruce Richie:

The person with dwarfism is equipped with a harness around his torso and is spun around and eventually thrown by another person onto mattresses placed on the ground. The person who throws the little person for the greatest distance wins the contest, according a 2001 statement by Little People of America.

The activity is exceedingly dangerous, according to the group. Because of orthopedic and neurological complications associated with most forms of dwarfism, the person being tossed is at high risk of back and neck injury.

"Aside from the physical dangers, dwarf-tossing is a demoralizing activity that treats the person with dwarfism as a mere object," a group representative said in 2001.

The president of Little People of America, Gary Arnold, doesn't want to see the ban repealed, which he says "protects the entire dwarf community."

Adam Weinstein of Mother Jones weighs in with this:

It's unclear whether the legislator realized that October was Dwarfism Awareness Month when he introduced the bill, but its text is pure Workman. Chopping government regulations is kind of his thing; the St. Pete Times has described him as possessing "a zeal for repeal." However, it may be that he's just got the pleasure-seeking heart of a frat boy: In addition to opening the dwarf-tossing floodgates, he's crafted legislation to loosen restrictions on minors getting tattoos and restaurant patrons getting snoggered, and he's fought for Floridians' right to not control or report "dangerous fires." And though he identifies as Christian and conservative, the legislator's got no problem sponsoring a bill that would absolve unmarried adults for "lewdly and lasciviously" living together. Live and let live, as Workman might say.

Well, not entirely: He's also co-sponsored restrictions on abortion, and he advocates an Arizona-style law to roll back immigration. "Our legislators cannot allow political correctness and misinformation to obstruct Florida's right to do the job the federal government refuses to do," Workman has said. Translation: Workman will make sure unborn dwarves grow up with the option of being hurled by drunks to pay the rent...assuming, of course, the dwarves are born in America.

Ritch Workman, with your help, American dwarves may again find their financial footing.

After all, the way things are right now, all the good dwarf jobs have gone to Mexico:

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