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Punish Online Pals with Social Media Citations

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As our daily relationships have become chiefly virtual, the same egregious social behavior that drove us to online correspondence has reared its ugly head on the web.

The friend who wouldn't stop complaining about insignificant things in person is now posting multiple Tweets per day on the inattentiveness of cashiers. The former roommate who couldn't respect your personal space is now Facebook poking you on a weekly basis. And the former girlfriend who couldn't step outside the mirror has the tendency to "Like" her own status updates.

It's incredible how Facebook, Twitter, Google+, iChat, Tumblr, or any social platform have come to reflect our relationships in real life. People bicker, flirt, unfriend, face chat, gossip, and adopt annoying habits. As such, someone has to clue these people in that their behavior is bugging everyone on their buddy list. And unless you're friends with Larry David, that person might as well be you.

Online store Knock Knock is offering a stack of 50 Social Media Citations. For $4.50, you can hand out demerits for poking, lurking, friending nonfriends, endless changes to one's relationship status, etc.

However, actual paper does go against the medium in which you're experiencing the infraction. Unless the perpetrator has a nearby door jam or windshield wiper to leave the citation, it looks like we'll have to succumb to snail mail.

I wonder if that qualifies as "Sending unwanted virtual gifts."

(See also: RIM Co-CEOs Displace Blame as Company Burns and The iPhone Ain't Cool, Says HTC Exec)

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POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.