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Yet Another Shoplifter Caught With Meat Down His Pants

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Donald Noone of Carlisle, Pennsylvania could meet Albert Einstein's definition of insanity, after attempting his second supermarket rib heist using the same shoplifting technique that failed him miserably the first time around, but obviously expecting a different result.

According to the Cumberland, PA Sentinel, the 65 year-old Noone "was back in police custody Sunday afternoon after trying to steal a rack of ribs by sticking them in his pants" -- a mere three months after he was arrested at the same store for trying to walk out with $13.34 worth of ribs in his trousers.


Donald Noone after his second meat/pants-related arrest in 90 days

Oddly enough, the ol' meat-down-the-pants trick appears to be a popular technique among meat thieves.

Just last month, Terry Campbell of Spartanburg, South Carolina was nabbed with "multiple packages" of tenderloin steak down his pants.


"Why yes, that IS a steak..."

And it was only last week that Charles Truman Davis of Atmore, Florida shoved four packages of sausage down his pants before pulling a knife on store employees and fleeing on a bicycle before being nabbed by cops on Friday.


Sausage tastes so much better when it's been in someone's pants first...

In November, 2010, Deon Williams of Brooklyn, NY was arrested after being caught walking out of a store with a 12-pound turkey breast in his pants.

"He's got a big turkey in his pants!" Fine Fare Grocery cashier Michelle Benjamin yelled to butcher Sergio Marte, who chased Williams down.

Marte demanded Williams hand over the bird, which he did -- after which he punched Marte in the jaw for good measure.

A relieved Marte told the New York Post that "the $84 worth of Boar's Head Oven Gold 'was in good condition.'"



Then, there was the curious case of Little Rock, Arkansas' Antonio Jordan, who combined Donald Noone's taste for ribs with Deon Williams's appreciation for poultry, finding himself in handcuffs after stuffing "a couple of slabs of ribs and family size packs of chicken" down his pants while shopping at a local Food Giant.

Of course, who can forget the fellow in Mary Esther, Florida who was wandering the aisles of a grocery store "looking suspicious" before being caught with three pounds of bacon down his pants?

Or Georgia's own Joseph Lee Stringer, who managed to leave his local Walmart with a rotisserie chicken down his pants before being caught?

To be fair, not all down-the-pants shoplifting involves meat.

Rodney Bolton of Jacksonville Beach, Florida tried to shoplift a ferret by stuffing the (live) animal down his pants.

Eric Fiegel, another apparent animal lover out of Mesa, Arizona, was caught by police with a stolen boa constrictor down his pants.

But Anthony Darren Black of Chickasha, Oklahoma may take home the gold in this year's Shoplifting Olympiad after attempting to steal a chainsaw -- yes, a chainsaw -- by hiding it down his pants.

"I seen the bar between his legs. It was pretty obvious. Imagine it in the front of your pants," store employee George Graham told the local news.

From KFOR, NewsChannel 4, Oklahoma City:

Several employees began chasing Black.

He ditched the chainsaw, ran up a tree, jumped down and actually ran right into someone's house.

The owner of that house quickly shooed him back outside.

The employees continued chasing him all the way to an almost dry creek.

They say Black dove into the creek headfirst.

"And we see his head, just only his head visible, sticking out of the water," said Paul Horton, the store manager. "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches," said Horton.

 

Black was charged with larceny, possession of stolen property and public intoxication.
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