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Did the Smurfs Cause Yesterday's Stock Market Plunge?

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After the Dow shed 512 points yesterday, wiping out $2 trillion in investor wealth and erasing all of the market's gains for the year, @badbanana -- or "thinker, writer, and retired trombone player" (and author) Tim Siedell -- took to Twitter to suggest the Smurfs could be responsible for the 4.31% plunge.

He's right :

While some blame Obama, some blame the GOP, and some blame Europe, the Smurfs were obviously behind the wiping out of $2 trillion in investor wealth.

Video from the morning of July 29th clearly shows Papa Smurf doing the actual ringing of the NYSE bell:

While Smurfette and Clumsy Smurf stand by, Papa Smurf -- who has been compared to none other than rabid anti-capitalist Joseph Stalin -- set yesterday's collapse in motion.

In his new book, Le Petit Livre Bleu: Analyse critique et politique de la société des Schtroumpfs ("Little Blue Book: A Critical and Political Analysis of Smurf Society"), Antoine Buéno of Sciences Po University "points out that the Smurfs live in a world where private initiative is rarely rewarded, where meals are all taken together in a communal room, where there is one leader and where the Smurfs rarely leave their small country," according to a recent review in the Guardian.

"Does that not remind you of anything? A political dictatorship, for example?" Buéno asked reporter Alison Flood, before "going on to compare the Smurfs' world to a totalitarian utopia reminiscent of Stalinist communism (Papa wears a red outfit and resembles Stalin, while Brainy is similar to Trotsky) and nazism (the character of the Smurfs' enemy Gargamel is an antisemitic caricature of a Jew, he proposes)."

(credit: Patricia Furtado)

See, yesterday is what happens when you let a Red (and a blue one, at that) into the inner sanctum of capitalism's holiest of holies.

For comparison's sake, the Dow is up 959 points, or 9.2% since the cast of the Jersey Shore rang the opening bell at the end of July, 2010:

Since New Orleans Saints wide receiver Marques Colston rang the opening bell on February 19, 2010, the market has risen 1284 points, or 12.72%:

Even Meatloaf didn't do to the Dow what Papa Smurf wrought on US financial markets, after he rang the opening bell a year ago, June:

Looks like @badbanana cracked this case wide open. The Smurfs did it.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.