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Imperialist Fun and Games Under the World's Most Repressive Regime

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BOWLING WITH THE ENEMY
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"As unimaginable as it may seem," wrote Asia scholar Orville Schell in 1996, "Pyongyang has also been introduced...to bowling."



Yesterday, North Korea's official state "news" service aired a segment about the city's Gold Lane Alley, where Pyongyang residents can go to relax after a full day of repression, malnourishment, and propaganda.



Truth is, Gold Lane is not intended as a place for the proletariat to decompress.

As Schell explained 15 years ago -- and, given the pace of change in the DPRK, we have no reason to assume anything has changed -- the "state-of-the art-complex complete with American PBA Century 100 automatic floor waxers and Bowl-Mor ball-return machines" is "a place where Pyongyang's haut monde (read: children of high-ranking officials) while away the night throwing strikes and spares, shooting pool, and drinking imported Japanese beer as the sound system plays such pop favorites as 'The Song of the Dear Leader' over the din of rolling balls and falling tenpins."

The prices are reasonable (in Western terms), at $7.40 for an hour of play for adults, at today's exchange of one North Korean Won to US $0.007407...



...and North Koreans don't have to worry about picking up any diseases from toilet seats used by Yankee dogs, who get their own dedicated restroom to infect with the capitalist bacteria swarming all over their pasty-white greed vessels:



Of course, there are certain inescapable truths one must accept when at the lanes, capitalist, communist, or otherwise:



When you bowl, you bowl with Uncle Sam.
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