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Ancient Rome: An X-Rated Chuck E. Cheese

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Well, this sorta takes the fun out of modern currency. I mean, as much as I enjoy looking at ol' Abe, could be a little more interesting to throw Mary Todd into the mix.

As viewers of Caligula already know, Ancient Rome was a hotbed of hedonism. When they weren't inventing scissors, perfecting the aqueduct, or laying waste to Gaul, they were writhing in ecstasy in one of the empire's many domed backhouses.

But not everyone was giving it up for free. As the "world's oldest profession" began to thrive, brothels sprang up and monetary exchanges became necessary. But when a language barrier became a problem, the Romans devised a system not unlike the tokens one earns from a couple throws of skeeball.

They called it spintria. Think of it like an X-rated Chuck E. Cheese token which graphically depicts the "act" the owner wishes to "receive."

Check out Photo-Reports' description of the artifact:

"They were used in ancient Rome to request and pay for different 'services' in brothels and from prostitutes on the street. Since there were a lot of foreigners coming to the city that did not speak the language and most of the prostitutes were slaves captured from other places, the coins made the transactions easy and efficient. One side of these coins showed what the buyer wanted and the other showed the amount of money to be paid for the act."

You guys, I think we've figured out how to save BitCoin. Or at least make Square payments on iPhones and Droids a little more descriptive.

Head over to Photo-Reports for some randy pictures of the coins and services provided. But be forewarned: They're probably not safe for work.

(See also: Verizon About to Screw Over Its Customers and Google Offends the Easily Offended)

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