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Apple Employees Commit Unforgivable Crime

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There's no excuse. Just no excuse.

As some Apple Store employees have been fighting to organize a union and demanding better financial compensation, this is will set them back to square one -- professionally, socially, and mentally.

This is worse than iPhone tracking. This is worse than denying the existence of malware. And, God help me, this is even worse than approving the Charlie Sheen app.

My friends, Apple Store employees are now planking.

Planking -- the worst excuse for a trend since "ghost riding" -- is when a person is photographed in a rigidly prone position, face down, in various circumstances. It exists because things exist. There is no point. There is no purpose. There is no appeal.

And yet, like Rapture predictions and the Jersey Shore, we are forced to hear about it.

Photos of planking inside Apple Stores are compiled on the Tumblr blog Apple Store Planking -- which is said to be "created for iPlankers" (UGH!) "by iPlankers" (UUUGH!!!). Both customers and employees are invited to submit their photos of planking in the retail locations, with the provision that staffers obscure their faces and "conspicuous" marks.

Anything to prevent identification from family and loved ones -- if any.

Look, other companies have their embarrassing moments. Microsoft made us avoid eye contact with its awkward Windows Phone 7 parade. Facebook stiffly confessed to its Google smear campaign after fumbling its execution. And AT&T was eating crow after one employee confirmed that New York City wasn't ready for the iPhone.

But take a look at these images and see if anything exhibits more awkwardness and less charm within a fleeting fad that never had any traction to begin with.

Forget Fake Steve Jobs. Apple needs to shut this blog down before it's further associated with such worthless frivolity.

(See also: Apple Staffers Planning a Revolt and Apple Laptops Deemed Best by Consumer Reports)
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.