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End of the World Won't be End of the Internet, Says Rapture Entrepreneur

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Mark Heard, a Cape Cod, Massachusetts handyman, is ready for the rapture -- but not before he makes a few bucks off of it.

Heard, who fully believes the world will soon be coming to an end, isn't quite sure exactly when it's gonna happen. He just knows it's gonna happen:

His website,, promises to give your "unsaved" friends "one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!"


This is 2011, people. Email, how else?

Heard explains the process:

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for your personal private letters to your closest lost friends and relatives.

We give you another 100mb. of unencrypted storage that can be sent to up to 50 email addresses, in Box #2. You can edit the documents and the addresses any time. Box #2 is for more generic documents to lost family & friends.

Of course, even true believers have questions. Like, wouldn't Heard need, at minimum, one atheist on staff to handle the task of hitting "send"?

A: I have a team, of Christian couples, scattered around the U.S.  4 active couples and one alternate. One of each, of the active couples, are required to log into the system everyday. They are scattered to protect us from having the team wiped out by attack, natural disaster, or epidemic. They are couples in case one is sick, injured, killed, and to assure their walk with God. If they (3 out of 4) fail to log in for 3 days the system figures the Rapture has taken place. There are then notices sent out to each of us daily, for 3 more days, warning us we must log in to prevent the sending of documents. If, we do not, then the system sends out all of the stored data to all of the email addresses. There is one alternate team member to ready as a replacement for a lost teammate. Also one team member is located near enough to the server bank, with access, in case the net goes down, or malfunction.

Huh. Automation. Nice. However, it brings up another, even more pressing question:

Q: With all of the devastation after the Rapture how do you think the emails will be delivered?

A: I do believe that the Internet will be up and running. There may be some localized temporary outages. Today the entire global economic and commerce system is completely dependant (sic) on the Internet to function. They will keep it working. There is also huge redundancy and overlap in the system. A message keep trying pathways and services until it is delivered. Most of the net is buried underground. Eventually God will take it down, as he destroys the World system that has been built up by a people trying to do it all without him. That won't be until the second half of the tribulation though.
For $14.95, it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to sign up. If nothing else, you can store a few of your favorite SeamlessWeb orders for the big day. Because the take-out in heaven is crap.
POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.