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Culture Jammers Take on Peabody Energy With "Coal Cares" Spoof

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Peabody Energy wants everyone out there to know that they are not behind, a website that appeared this morning, offering free asthma inhalers to any child living within 200 miles of a coal-fired plant.

The homepage reads:

Coal Cares™ is a brand-new initiative from Peabody Energy, the world's largest private-sector coal company, to reach out to American youngsters with asthma and to help them keep their heads high in the face of those who would treat them with less than full dignity. For kids who have no choice but to use an inhaler, Coal Cares™ lets them inhale with pride.

Puff-Puff™ inhalers are available free to any family living within 200 miles of a coal plant, and each inhaler comes with a $10 coupon towards the cost of the asthma medication itself.

The "free inhalers" include such trendy styles as:

And, for the littlest of your little ones:

But Meg Gallagher, director of communications for Peabody, tells PR news outlet O’Dwyer’s that the campaign, like the recent hoax press release that announced GE would be returning its tax refund to the US Treasury, is a “spoof.

Whatever, Meg. Here are some "facts" from CoalCares:


Coal power is solar power.

That's because millions of years ago, before coal began to form from decaying organic matter, the sun provided the energy that organic matter required to grow and die.

Wind Kills

Wind turbines can kill up to 70,000 birds per year, or 4.27 birds per turbine per year. Coal particulate pollution, on the other hand, kills fewer than 13,000 people per year.

Solar Burns

In just 30 minutes, a human being absorbs 2.5 million joules of energy from the sun—enough, for most people, to cause sunburn.
In any case, the numbers on Peabody's actual website give us an idea of just how many asthma inhalers may be necessary to set aside for future use:

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