Sorry!! The article you are trying to read is not available now.

10 Super Bowl Halftime Shows That Made Me Want To Set My Spaceship On Fire

Print comment Post Comments
Here are 10 Super Bowl halftime shows ordered by the degree to which they made me want to set my spaceship on fire.

1. 2011: Black Eyed Peas, Fergie, Usher and Slash. I've got a feeling that tonight's going to be a good, good spaceship burning night.

2. 1989: Be Bop Bamboozled 3-D show with Elvis Presto. If you have 3-D glasses, now is the time to put them on so you can watch me set my spaceship on fire in 3-D.

3. 2000: Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias, Toni Braxton. "Put Your Hand On the Future..." a future which is guaranteed to include me setting my spaceship on fire. 

4. 2005: Paul McCartney. These are the songs that play during video footage of my spaceship being set on fire.

5. 1993: Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson appears on stage and stands nearly motionless for two minutes and 11 seconds, which is exactly the time it takes for my spaceship to be fully engulfed in flames after I set it on fire.

6. 1986: Up With People. If a company wanted to advertise a product related to me setting my spaceship on fire, it would use this for the theme song.

7. 2004: Janet Jackson,
Justin Timberlake, P Diddy, Nelly, Kid Rock, Jessica Simpson. I choose to set my spaceship on fire. But first, a nipple slip.

8. 2007: Prince.
Dearly beloved, We are gathered here today to burn my spaceship.

9.Tom Petty and the Spaceship Burners. Another year, another burnt spaceship.

10. 2001: Aerosmith, 'N Sync, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, Nelly.
This started slow. It took over two-and-a-half minutes for me to comprehend that this was a halftime show and not a tragic disaster unfolding on live national television. But once Aerosmith started playing I immediately wanted to set my spaceship on fire.

POSITION:  No positions in stocks mentioned.