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business newsNFL and CFL: A Guide to Survive the Lockout
By
Marty Kulas Jun 24, 2011 2:10 pm
The new rules you need to know, the terms you need to learn, and how to pick a new favorite team.
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Well, don’t worry. We have the equivalent of a Bernanke put. The NFL Network announced on Wednesday that they will show two CFL (Canadian Football League) games a week. The season begins next week with the BC Lions visiting Montreal.
In the mode of getting you what you need to know before you knew you needed it, we’ll give you a guide to survive the lockout. You still have time to get your buddies together for a pool. It may have to be massaged a bit since the CFL only has eight teams in it.
For instance, you will now need to have a new favorite team. Here’s the mapping based on your old team:
- Buffalo Bills: You will drive past Hamilton for the Toronto Argonauts to return the favor for the thousands that go to Buffalo games.
- Pittsburgh Steelers: You’re now Hamilton Tiger Cats fan. Both steel towns, black and yellow.
- Denver Broncos: Easy - Calgary Stampeders. Cowboys and Rocky Mountains.
- NY Jets or Giants: Cheer for the BC Lions. They’re waiting for their new stadium like you did.
- New Orleans Saints: Montreal Alouettes. The French connection will let you pronounce things properly.
- Green Bay Packers: Edmonton Eskimos. You’ll be used to the snow and cold and have the right colored toques (see below) to match.
- Atlanta Falcons: You get the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. You’ll be watching your old NHL team there anyway.
- Everybody else: Either pick who you hate the least, or the Saskatchewan Rough Riders based in Regina, Saskatchewan.
Rule Changes:
- Remember the refs only make $15,000 a year. So if you don’t understand what’s going on, just blame the ref. You’ve got a 50% chance of being right. Otherwise the big one is that there are only three downs. That means lots more passing. The field is also a different size and there’s something called a rouge (single) where a point is awarded to the kicking team.
- Salary cap for each team is only $4.2 million. In comparison, Tom Brady’s 2009 salary was $5 million base with $3 million bonus.
New Terms to Learn:
- The “couch” you sit on is now called a “chesterfield."
- Tim Horton’s is the equivalent of a Dunkin' Donuts.
- RONA is like a Home Depot (HD).
- Scotia is a bank, similar to any US bank but with little subprime exposure.
- A toque (pronounced "tuke") is a woolen beanie hat to keep you warm.
Useful links:
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_football
- http://hubpages.com/hub/Top10-NFL-vs-CFL-Differences
- http://www.cflfantasydraft.com/
- http://www.fantaseh.ca/
Look for my survival guide to the NBA lockout in December just before Lacrosse season starts.
No positions in stocks mentioned.
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