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Frighteningly Lame Halloween Costumes


How to lose friends and alienate people on October 31st.


The question becomes more challenging with each passing year: "What should I be for Halloween?"

Your days of trick-or-treating might be over, but you'd be wise to seize on whatever rare opportunities you still have to play dress up. It keeps you young. So, how do you choose the right costume? By avoiding the lame ones, detailed below for your edification and laugh-out-loud enjoyment.

Napoleon Dynamite

Awkward teens have their place -- up on the silver screen or stuffed into high-school lockers -- so it's a tad annoying when 34-year-olds quote the breathy gripes of Jon Heder's alter ego. We get it: He gets bullied, he likes ligers, he dances funny. Was there really anything more to the character?

Viable Alternative: Richie Tenenbaum

Darth Vader

The undermining of imperial badass Darth Vader is the fault of George Lucas. He reduced a once-mysterious and powerful villain to a whiny toddler in Star Wars: Episode I and an even whinier teenager in Episodes II and III. If by chance you run into someone dressed as Darth Vader, ask them, "Wasn't that you shouting 'Weeeee!' during a pod race?" They'll be too embarrassed to Force-choke you.

Viable Alternative: Boushh

Raggedy Ann

By and large, women are given a free pass on Halloween to dress, well, sexily. For those who'd rather not, finding outfits can present a challenege. Even still, Raggedy Ann? Come on. No one ever had fun being her.

Viable Alternative: Victorian Steampunk


From Tarzan to Crocodile Dundee, foreign idiot savants have delighted us with wide-eyed trips to the big city and a propensity to mistake bidets for drinking fountains. Sure, Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat added something new to the stereotype, but you know what didn't? The millions of people who immitated him - ad nauseum. Here's hoping his new movie, Brüno, doesn't suffer the same fate

Viable Alternative: Balki

Indiana Jones

Can somebody please keep George Lucas away from a camera. Please? If the Star Wars prequels weren't bad enough, last summer he decided to take a stab -- or was it a hatchet? -- at Indiana Jones. Dressing up as Indy now would be interpreted as supporting The Crystal Skull, or worse - Shia LaBeouf.

Viable Alternative: Ash

Click through to see the next 5 all-time lamest Halloween getups.

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