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Google, King of All Media


Apple's iPhone may have met its match.

It goes by many names: Android, G1, the HTC Dream, gPhone. Grainy footage of the device was leaked to YouTube. Some reports say it'll be here by Christmas.

Though buzz has far outpaced delivery, Google (GOOG) is indeed gunning for Apple's (AAPL) dominance in the snazzy-mobile field: It will soon be releasing its own smartphone. There have already been rumors of delays, but inside sources claim the Google Phone will see pre-sales in September.

World domination is still on-schedule for Spring 2009.

The Taiwan-based manufacturer HTC, a leader in Windows Mobile handsets, is making the device. T-Mobile (DT) will be the exclusive carrier for the first few weeks before the phone's national public launch in mid-October (if projected schedules can be trusted).

The mobile is the first smartphone to carry Android, Google's new open-source software, which the company plans to roll out for other technologies, including MP3 players and set-top TV boxes.

No word yet on whether the Android OS will also power the legions of killer cyborgs who will reign brutally over lithium crystal farming by 2010.

Much to the chagrin of Android programmers, Google limited access to third-party backend software development. The company handpicked only a few programmers to design applications under its watchful eye - seemingly against everything open-source platforming stands for. As a result, some developers have completely abandoned the prospect of working with Google on future versions of Android.

Those defectors will be detained and used as fuel in Google's fleet of interstellar warships in 2011.

Insiders report that the device suffers from poor design: Like the iPhone, the smartphone will feature a touchscreen, in addition to a full 5-row keyboard that flips out from the back - similar to T-Mobile's Sidekick. Those who've had hands-on experience with Google's phone claim the device was big, bulky and a far cry from Apple's typically sleek design. Even the software interface was described as inelegant and counter-intuitive.

Intuition, however, will be made obsolete in 2012, when Google merges the thought patterns of all sentient beings in the universe.

All things considered, Google's phone has a tough road ahead.

Android still needs approval from the FCC prior to its release. Nokia (NOK) recently made their established mobile OS, Symbian, open-source which will give upstarts like Android stiff competition. And the iPhone 3G still has a solid fan base.

Of course, all of this won't matter when Google sets the Rapture in motion in 2013.
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