Sorry!! The article you are trying to read is not available now.
Thank you very much;
you're only a step away from
downloading your reports.

Who Wants To Be a Czar?

By

Government to appoint another 19th-century Russian monarch to reform Detroit.

PrintPRINT

It's time for another czar!

It seems America's automotive industry needs the kind of attention only a 19th-century Russian monarch can provide. We need someone who can save Detroit. We need a car czar.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said a presidentially appointed car czar would help to oversee any restructuring of the domestic automakers. She also told the Today Show the throne should be filled pronto: "I would want the czar to be appointed before one dollar was spent. So, theoretically, this week."

The soon-to-be-announced car czar would join a chorus of other American czars we've come to know and vaguely love. There's the drug czar, energy czar, terrorism czar, health-care czar and new climate czar. The czars are multiplying. At this rate, we're only a few crises away from reaching Romanov proportions.

Of course, in 1918, Czar Nicholas II, along with his wife, son, 4 daughters, servant and cook, was shot to death by Bolsheviks.

But that's hardly the point. What is? General Motors (GM), Ford (F) and Chrysler are experiencing bloody revolutions of their own. A divided Senate voted down a $14 billion loan, essentially turning the proposed bailout program into a bailout pogrom.

A car czar would, in theory, do what czars do best: cut through the red tape, take the bull by its horns and reform, reform, murder and reform!

Sure, a lot of people scoff when they hear the word "czar." But, as it turns out, the Russian Empire and American automotive industry converged long, long ago.

In 1929, the Soviet Union, desperate to jumpstart its own auto industry, signed a deal with Ford. The Reds agreed to buy $13 million worth of Ford cars and parts, Ford agreed to help the Soviets build their own car manufacturing plant. In 1932, the factory, Gorkovsky Avtomobilny Zavod, or GAZ, was complete.

As of Friday, GAZ, which trades publicly on the Russian Trading System, was hovering at $13. Ford? About $3.

The news may be grim, but at least we have our health. Back then, scores of American engineers stationed in Russia were killed during Stalin's Great Terror. Some were exiled to Siberia. Some ended up in gulags.

Speaker Pelosi already knows who she'd like for the position: "I think somebody like Paul Volcker, who has bipartisan confidence and private confidence."

Whether or not Volcker wants the job remains to be seen. He's already been tapped by President-Elect Obama to be a special economic advisor, and, frankly, how many nebulous titles can one man have at a given time?

At any rate, whoever ends up getting the job would benefit from a little Russian history.

Back when real czars walked the Earth, very few Russians could afford automobiles. Those who could had them imported. In other words, czars drove foreign cars.

Talk about a bad PR move.

A recent AP-AOL Autos poll found that 44% of Americans thought Japanese made the best autos. Just 29% favored domestics.

Just what kind of car is Paul Volcker driving these days, anyway?

< Previous
  • 1
Next >
No positions in stocks mentioned.

The information on this website solely reflects the analysis of or opinion about the performance of securities and financial markets by the writers whose articles appear on the site. The views expressed by the writers are not necessarily the views of Minyanville Media, Inc. or members of its management. Nothing contained on the website is intended to constitute a recommendation or advice addressed to an individual investor or category of investors to purchase, sell or hold any security, or to take any action with respect to the prospective movement of the securities markets or to solicit the purchase or sale of any security. Any investment decisions must be made by the reader either individually or in consultation with his or her investment professional. Minyanville writers and staff may trade or hold positions in securities that are discussed in articles appearing on the website. Writers of articles are required to disclose whether they have a position in any stock or fund discussed in an article, but are not permitted to disclose the size or direction of the position. Nothing on this website is intended to solicit business of any kind for a writer's business or fund. Minyanville management and staff as well as contributing writers will not respond to emails or other communications requesting investment advice.

Copyright 2011 Minyanville Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

PrintPRINT
 
Featured Videos

WHAT'S POPULAR IN THE VILLE