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Business Makeover: OPEC


If it's broke, fix it.

The price of oil fell by 25% last week -- the largest decline since 1991 -- and has tumbled almost 70% since hitting a record high of $147.27 in July. Needless to say, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, or OPEC, isn't amused. Member states will likely make the decision to slash production on December 17th - and by all accounts the cuts, aimed at preserving robust profits, will be severe.

This is a PR tightrope: The risk is that the end user, already under mounting economic stress, will recoil. To that end, Minyanville offers advice on how to increase revenue without the appearance of price gouging.

Advances in alternative energy may reduce the demand for oil, but an international campaign painting Toyota (TM) Prius drivers and windmill operators as a bunch of Nancy's should restore balance to the universe.

The United States government -- OPEC's largest customer -- plans to reduce its dependence on foreign oil by drilling offshore. Merge with the NRA to solidify control of the American legislative system.

Stateside, Middle-Eastern oil magnates suffer from a poor public image. Appeal to the Iron Sheik to apologize formally for disparaging comments he may have made about Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania I.

Take a cue from General Mills (GIS) and ever-so-slightly reduce the amount of oil per barrel to achieve volume savings.

Remind the owners of flamethrowers that you achieve greater distances with higher octane.

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