Business Makeover: OPEC
If it's broke, fix it.
This is a PR tightrope: The risk is that the end user, already under mounting economic stress, will recoil. To that end, Minyanville offers advice on how to increase revenue without the appearance of price gouging.
|Advances in alternative energy may reduce the demand for oil, but an international campaign painting Toyota (TM) Prius drivers and windmill operators as a bunch of Nancy's should restore balance to the universe.|
|The United States government -- OPEC's largest customer -- plans to reduce its dependence on foreign oil by drilling offshore. Merge with the NRA to solidify control of the American legislative system.|
|Stateside, Middle-Eastern oil magnates suffer from a poor public image. Appeal to the Iron Sheik to apologize formally for disparaging comments he may have made about Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania I.
|Take a cue from General Mills (GIS) and ever-so-slightly reduce the amount of oil per barrel to achieve volume savings.|
|Remind the owners of flamethrowers that you achieve greater distances with higher octane.|
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